Dance Your Power

Power! It’s something we all want more of for it’s exhilarating charge, its promise of fulfillment and its relief from victimhood and suffering. Though power looks different for each of us, we all access it through freedom of thought, curiousity, and courage to explore the road less travelled.

Power is often misconstrued as a finite commodity that some have more of than others. Yet suppose all the power you need is already inside you. Perhaps all that’s missing is the courage and hutzpah to get up and dance it?

When you dance, you move your body in a patterned or random combination of movements that’s different from how you usually move. You step out of every day functional ways of body maneuvering into gestures that are artfully, emotionally or sensually inspired. This triggers activity in a different part of your brain, giving access to a creative, body centered wisdom & power otherwise largely untapped.

Dancing literally takes you out of the box of your own limitations, into the limitlessness of your imagination, a profound portal to your personal power. So when in search of more power, just dance it!

Leela Francis is a speaker, facilitator and Embody Power Expert. She's the founder and CEO of Vividly Woman, helping women to tap into their embodied power to become thriving, healthy and fulfilled leaders, personally and professionally.

Embody Self Love- Not Just an Idea

There's a difference between the idea of self love and the embodiment of it.


We all know that we "should" love ourselves. That's the idea of it. The fact is however that most of us spend an awful lot of time negating our self worth with negative self talk, choices that don't reflect our true essence, and inauthentic boundaries in our relationships that disempower us.


The idea of self love is a good one, but the embodiment of it goes way beyond the idea into the actual lived experience of it. The embodiment of self love requires a deep and loving inquiry into the soul self versus the social self.


The soul self is the unique essence of our being that runs deep and true. The social self is the egoic self that develops as we grow in order to "survive" in the world, win love and approval, and achieve a perception of success. In other words, we learn how to behave in order to be loved.


Unfortunately our learned behavior often has us sacrificing the authentic essence of the soul self to accommodate the social self. The soul self gets buried alive under the constructs of the social self to the point that the soul self is barely identifiable. 


Development of the social self may help us to attain certain results in the material world, however it can also be a persistent abuse and betrayal of the core of our being. And it is this self betraying and abusive behavior versus the deep and true soul essence of self, that is really who and what we dislike, even hate, 


Devoting oneself to that deep and true soul self is a first step back to finding the love that it rightly deserves. Because it's been so obscured by the egoic social self, the way new civilizations stack themselves one on top of the other, it's actually necessary to excavate your soul truth, to embrace it, and to truly embody it, so that you can actually love it!


Leela Francis is a speaker, facilitator and Embody Power Expert. She's the founder and CEO of Vividly Woman, helping women to tap into their embodied power to become thriving, healthy and fulfilled leaders, personally and professionally.

Holding Patterns

Holding Patterns

In my more than 2 decades of training as a massage therapist, integrative body therapist, yoga and dance teacher, and through my own experience living in a body, I ‘ve identified 3 types of holding/constriction that occur in the body.

1. Physical/Physiological
2. Emotional
3. Mental

These holding patterns cause limitation and chronic conditions that, over time will become very difficult to unwind. The more holding occurs, the more that the body learns to hold, which results in more holding, and so on and so on.

It’s helpful to identify the type of holding that’s present in any given area of your body if you’re going to be able to release that holding pattern and create greater freedom in your body, and therefore in your life.

I’ll describe each of these types of holding.

1. Physical/physiological holding is caused by the body’s own mechanical and anatomical condition. For instance, if you have one leg longer than the other, you’ll chronically compensate by limping, which will result in a holding in the hip and pelvic girdle. Or if you lack calcium in your system, your muscles will relax less readily remaining in a constant state of contraction. Physically and physiologically caused holding patterns can often be addressed or remedied if they are identified properly.
2. Emotional holding patterns are the result of chronically unresolved emotional issues that take up residence in the tissues of the body. Anger, guilt, resentment, blame, avoidance, when not addressed do not disappear. They just become covertly embedded in your body. Some schools of thought believe that it’s necessary to identify the life experience that caused the emotional holding in order to free up that energy.
3. Mental holding patterns are caused by a belief that we persistently attach to. That belief may pertain to the body, or may seem completely unrelated. Either way, the unconscious attachment to that belief will result in a stuckness in the body. If you think about it, how could it be otherwise. Afterall, all nervous system activity, controlling every tissue; organ, muscle and bone in the body, originates in the brain, the same place thoughts originate. Clearly these will influence each other. So bringing beliefs and thoughts into conscious awareness can have enormous affect on the body’s freedom or lack of.

Watching the body’s holding patterns in every day life, during exercise, dance or yoga practice, and exploring the 3 possible causes of holding patterns above, can reveal valuable truths about your body’s wisdom. Learning to refer to the wisdom of your body will give you profound access to your embodied power, helping to reduce injuries and live more vividly. Be curious and see what you discover!


Leela Francis is a speaker, facilitator and Embody Power Expert. She's the founder and CEO ofVividly Woman, helping women to tap into their embodied power to become thriving, healthy and fulfilled leaders, personally and professionally.

Blissful Boundaries

In these days leading up to Vividly Woman Embody Self Love Intensive in BC & Ont, I'm super sensitive to the reality that it's not easy for women to claim our space, to establish authentic boundaries, and express the truth of who we are. Boundaries, or lack of them, are central to the lack of self love issue that is so rampant in our world at the root of women's discontent. Fortunately once you understand how boundaries work, it's easy to claim your space, shift unhealthy patterns that cause suffering and dance into blissful boundary awareness.

I have one nagging professional relationship that used to always challenge my boundaries. I'd end up frustrated, losing my temper, running away from the conflicts. SInce I started noticing the real issue, my own lack of boundaries, everything has shifted.

What I've found is that a healthy felt sense boundary, one that's always changing in tandem with who and what I'm relating to, is a great expression of loving and honoring myself and expressing my self worth to the world on an energetic level. 

Watch my 2 videos below: first, more on boundaries, and then the Vividly Woman Energetic Boundary Meditation. Enjoy whenever, wherever. It's served me immensely in my life and it's my pleasure to share it with you.

No, I didn't hang the painting crookedly, the camera was off. Ooops!!

Leela Francis is a speaker, facilitator and Embody Power Expert. She's the founder and CEO ofVividly Woman, helping women to tap into their embodied power to become thriving, healthy and fulfilled leaders, personally and professionally.

Changing Boundaries

Boundaries are fluid and alive. They change to accommodate circumstances, moods and current needs. Knowing this is essential. Expect your boundaries to organically shift if they are an authentic expression of you. This is your body and your energy speaking to you. An authentic relationship boundary can and does change.

Rather than being a wall to keep people or things out, a boundary is like a container that allows you to have more of you.

As the dance of life ebbs and flows,

boundaries ebb and flow as well.

Boundaries can be fluid, fixed, contracted, and expanded. Most likely we all experience a little of each at different moments, in different situations, with different individuals, etc. As the dance of life ebbs and flows, boundaries ebb and flow as well.

A fluid boundary flows and changes according to the situation. A fixed boundary is rigid and does not easily accommodate changing circumstances. A contracted boundary causes one to shrink back, shut down and/or lose power. An expanded boundary may cause one to be overbearing, approval seeking and/or lose a realistic sense of oneself.

By now your probably getting a sense of how true boundaries are always an authentic expression of you. The value of honoring authentic boundaries in your life is beyond measure because it will show up in every relationship and impact all outcomes.

I learned this in powerful way a long time ago with one of my employers. Working for Jake was not a pleasant experience. His anger brought up for me the anger I had experienced with other important men in my life. His critical nature tended to feed the judgments I held about myself and reminded me of the anger I can easily turn inward.

When I began to practice taking a deep breath and drawing an imaginary boundary in my mind during our interactions, I magically started to sense my own power when I found myself in his presence. I could let him be who he is, how he is, and I no longer took on his negative projections. My boundary acted like a bubble or shield protecting me/distinguishing me from stuff that truly was not mine.

Awareness helps us to make necessary choices

rather than be run by habit

Different relationships and circumstances elicit different boundaries. Often a certain relationship or situation has a characteristic boundary that we automatically step into out of habit. Awareness helps us to make necessary choices rather than be run by habit or external factors, and facilitates a depth of meaning in relation to our own felt sense of boundaries.

Boundaries are a natural part of relationships. Our ability to notice our boundaries when we relate will help us to stay in our power and identify meaning in our relationships.

Learn more and experience boundary exercises in the Vividly Woman Monthly Community Online Program.

Leela Francis is a speaker, facilitator and Embody Power Expert. She's the founder and CEO of Vividly Woman, helping women to tap into their embodied power to become thriving, healthy and fulfilled leaders, personally and professionally.

www.LeelaFrancis.com

www.VividlyWoman.com

Healthy Boundaries

What is a Boundary?

A boundary is the periphery of the energetic field that emanates from our center and orients us in the world in relationship to other beings, things and situations.

When our boundaries are intact we feel a sense of well-being, autonomy and an “I am-ness.”

“Having a container that has no leaks (clear boundaries) allows for more of the experience to be felt”, writes Saida Desilets in her book Emergence of the Sensual Woman. "When our boundaries have been crashed into by another, or if we fail to consciously set our own boundaries, we can become uprooted from our center, unsettled in our own skin, stuck in our energy, less potent and powerful".

Boundaries are not walls

Often boundaries are mistakenly thought of as separating us from each other. The truth is, however, that when we learn how to have healthy and distinctive boundaries, we can be more truly present with each other, and more authentically connected. Identifying the meaning of having authentic boundaries, we’re more naturally motivated to create them. Remember, boundaries are not walls meant to keep others out, they are defining parameters that allow us to have more of who we authentically are.

When I teach, present or facilitate group process, I notice that the way I relate to the group is strongly influenced by my ability to stay conscious of my boundary. Without a sense of my own boundary I’ll often feel unsure of being able to hold the space for the group, most likely because I am not even really holding the space for myself.

When first I hold the space for me, by consciously creating my own boundary however, there’s an instant sense of coming home in my own body. This connection to myself is what it means to be in my power. From this place I can hold a reverent and dynamic space for others, inspiring them to trust in my leadership.

Notice:

Notice in this moment if you have a sense of yourself beyond your own physical body.

If you do, how far does your energetic body extend in this moment in a 360degree radius around you. This tells you how much space your taking up and letting others know you need and deserve.

If you don’t, how is this showing up in your relationships with others? Do you feel seen, heard and respected? A lack of boundaries can often result in lack of acknowledgement by those around you.

Ask yourself these questions and notice.

In my next few posts I’ll share more about having healthy, authentic, felt sense boundaries so that your relationships flourish and you feel safe in your own body.

Learn more and experience boundary exercises in the Vividly Woman Monthly Community Online Program.

Leela Francis is a speaker, facilitator and Embody Power Expert. She's the founder and CEO of Vividly Woman, helping women to tap into their embodied power to become thriving, healthy and fulfilled leaders, personally and professionally.

www.LeelaFrancis.com

www.VividlyWoman.com

More Yummy, Less Yucky

3 Tips for Cultivating Witness Versus Wallow Consciousness

Recently I noticed myself wallowing in some feelings of sadness. The sadness was brought on by me comparing myself to a woman who I was perceiving as more successful than I. As a result I was actively self deprecating and feeling inadequate. Yes, I confess that sometimes I do let comparing myself to others get me down, and it can be a real drag. Fortunately lately I've had the insight and awareness to witness what's happening instead of let myself be pummeled by the self pity that often in the past would ensue. Though I still felt the sadness, I was also able to be with it in a way that allowed me to honor my feelings instead of be a victim to them.

Here are 3 practices that I use to get me into the witness and out of the wallower.

1. Feeling & Sensing; Notice your feelings and their corresponding sensations instead of the narrative in your mind that justifies the feeling. Letting go of the story and being a witness to sensation and feeling, brings you to truth that empowers you instead of story that debilitates you.

2. Be Self Referencing: Acknowledge self referring vs external referring behavior. Are your choices motivated by your inner preferences or by outside standards? Witness your tendency towards one or the other to identify whether you are living and choosing authentically for you.

3. Take Responsibility: Do you take responsibility for your life or do your tend to blame people or circumstances outside yourself. Witnessing why things are the way they are, with you as the director and the producer of your life, not just the lead actor, will encourage "yummy" way quicker than the victim "yucky" experience of your life's dramas.

The cultivation of witness consciousness is an ongoing practice. We have to stalk the wallowing tendencies and be gentle when we find them, witnessing even that with a loving "ah so", and choose to dance in the light of the witness helping to dismantle the darkness of the wallower.

Leela Francis is the founder of Vividly Woman. An embodiment Expert, facilitator and coach, she inspires the values of the divine feminine in work and in play.