Leela Answers

Thank you for your overwhelming response to my recent call for questions about women's spirituality. I've had a huge influx of questions. It's so helpful to know what women are thinking, feeling and wanting more of. I have chosen a few of the many questions to answer below that I felt represented the over all requests for my take on the subject.

I want you to know that putting out the Ask Leela email was really scary for me. As much as I might look like I know what I'm doing and like I have my s--t together, there is always that little voice (sometimes big voice) inside me that challenges my right to claim expertise or wisdom.

Yet it is exactly that chronic self doubt and self sabotaging behavior that actually makes me the expert. I've had lots of practice rising above my self doubt and becoming conscious of the ways I self sabotage. I share your fears, your insecurities, your challenges. All I'm doing is getting real about it with my community so that we can stop pretending, bring what's lurking in the shadow out into the light, and support and inspire each other's expansion and healing. What are sisters for?

It's amazing how the right clothes and a shiny website can create the illusion of being above it all. Let's drop the facade ladies and start accepting our own and each other's authentic selves, insecurities and all. From that place of truth I invite us all to leap into the unknown and be amazing, take risks, and be as vividly on fire as we really are, beyond the masks, and dance deeply from our hearts and souls.

Also stay tuned for the Vividly woman on-line April newsletter next week and read the April feature interview with Amber Chand. Our focus is the feminine paradigm in business.

How does one maintain a sense of sacredness and in those moments of dishonoring ourselves find the forgiveness and compassion for ourselves to be able to embrace that sacredness once more? How do we trust ourselves again after betraying ourselves once again? It is as if I am laying out traps for myself to fall into to see if I can find my way back out again.

Sacredness is maintained by honoring my connection to all of creation and engaging all parts of me; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual in that connection.

I've noticed that my life is an endless adventure of opportunities to forgive myself. Meditation is the perfect practice for this. In meditation we watch the mind. Everytime we notice the mind wandering away from this watching, it's an opportunity to forgive ourselves for this wandering of mind and come back to the present moment. Which is the meditating, being in the present moment or noticing when the mind has wandered from the present moment, or both?

Likewise, the situations we create in our lives may very well be the devices to practice forgiveness.

Noticing that this is difficult for you, be gentle and less demanding. Know that you likely will dishonour yourself again, and it will be an opportunity to forgive. As long as you have the belief that dishonoring yourself is wrong, you will blame and judge yourself. When you realize that dishonoring is obviously what you needed to do to learn a valuable lesson, you can forgive yourself and celebrate the learning.

What are the definitions of "divine feminine" and "divine masculine?" I have been trying to get a feeling around those terms in order to develop my divine feminine to attract the right man.

This is a great question, with the answer practically built in to it. Wanting a clear definition is very masculine. Trying to get a feeling around something is very feminine. In order to develop my divine feminine is again very masculine. The masculine defines and controls outcomes. The feminine intuits and senses for the truth that is wanting to be birthed.

What makes each of these divine is the permission and the honoring of each for the beauty that each is as an expression of the great turning, the rhythm of the universe, the very dance of life.

Think of your divine feminine as something that needs less developing and more nurturing. When you approach your goal in this way, to attract the right man, you will attract a man that will naturally nurture the divine feminine in you that you are nurturing in yourself.

How is a woman's spirituality different from a man's?

It is hard for me to answer this question because I am not a man. Though I have read and understand about the differences in the masculine and the feminine, I hesitate to generalize. I will say this though, a woman's spirituality is usually more connected to her body and a man's more connected to his mind. One of my teachers Wilbert Alix, says that men tend to narrow, women tend to expand. This is in sync with the body vs mind theory above.

If there was one thing that I could do, daily, on a regular basis, (for no more then 15 minutes), to nurture and expand the sensual, spiritual, and creative side of my self - what would that be?

My experience is that we each have different affinities for different practices so I can't make a broad claim as to what will be best for whom and when across the board. However, being able to refer inward for the answer to that question for oneself will help each of us to decide that for ourselves at any given time. So with the intention to identify for ourselves what will expand and nurture, I recommend that all women cultivate a practice of learning how to listen to and interpret one's inner voice, the sensations and wisdom of the body.

I for one have several different practices that I employ depending on my mood, desired outcome and what I have at my disposal. It's most important for me to know how to distinguish the longings and cravings of my being so that I can chose what will work best with each new day/time of day/occasion. For instance, my personal practices for health and well being include dance, yoga, meditation, walking, breathing, chanting. Because I know how to decipher the yearnings of my soul, I can chose what will fulfill me the most at any given time. So in order to nurture that sensitivity to ones inner knowing, I recommend these practices:

Sensation tracking- Lie down comfortably in a quiet undisturbed place. Track the sensations present in your body, notice what you sense where and watch this with utter fascination and attentiveness.

VividExistence Body & Breath meditation CD - Each track is 12-15 minutes long. This is a great way to grow that felt sense awareness and the acuity of perception to one's inner voice.

Flirting with Nature- This is a Vividly Woman practice that pretty much works anytime.

Please share your comments below or initiate further discussion on this vast topic.

Next month we'll explore sensuality!

Have a meaningful week;

Love,

Leela is the founder of VividExistence and VividlyWoman . A facilitator of groups and individuals for over 20 years, she is an expert in the field of body, self and soul