My Journey to Embody Self Love

Hallelujah Leela Francis...for naming one of the biggest issues for women, indeed! And for creating a space to heal the great divide in us!!! It's like a chain reaction of self-defeat and discouragement--and it's hard to know what comes first...being devalued that leads to lack of self-love, or lack of self-love that leads to being devalued--but it doesn't matter because Embody Self Love Intensive helped me to get back on the path after I had found myself soooo far off it!

My biggest melt/nurture-through (feminine version of breakthrough) at Embody Self Love Intensive was realizing that I needed to be in GREAT physical pain before I would create the boundary for myself on being overworked and undervalued. I KNEW IT cognitively, but it wasn't until I EMBODIED it through dancing (actually in having to dance very quietly and small for once instead of passionately energetic) that I got it! I saw how much I allowed my ego and my longstanding warrior-like energy to dominate everything--as if that was the only way of being that gave me worth!

I needed to find the care and nurturance of myself--especially when I was in PAIN--versus catering to the demands of others (even though I'd trained them to expect me to do all the work!), ignoring my pain, and ignoring my SELF. Hmmmm....how disconnected was that? PRAY FOR A SIGN EVEN YOU CAN RECOGNIZE, DIANE!

And rather than use a stick to beat myself up with for "not doing it right" and not being MORE self-aware than this....instead I learned to welcome this long-neglected, injured side of myself AND to confront the neglectful torpedoes-be-damned attitude of my being with true compassion and deep understanding.

Embody Self Love Intensive IS learning at the cellular level! I loved what I learned & embodied there! Thank you Leela for your wisdom! Thanks to all the women there who helped me melt-through and get on the path to more self-love. Still a work in progress and that's okay 'cause I am still on the path!!!

Diane Anderson RCC, MA, is a counsellor in private practice in Vancouver, BC and a International Vividly Woman Co-Facilitator.

www.VividlyWoman.com

"This is not my Beautiful Life" (yes as in the Talking Heads song!)

It was in the space between waking and dream, tangled and tripping on the thin veils that define the two realities, when I stubbed my toe on an old rotting stump of a memory.

It was cold tile slick with my snot and tears, I was gagging on the mediocrity of my life. "How did this happen to me?" Even more disturbing was the lack any real proof or permission to feel this way.

I had a successful and thriving business, a healthy child, a relationship free of infidelity, physical abuse, etc. I chose to work 3 days a week. I had a loving supportive family to watch my son. My Yoga practice was consistent and strong. I had plenty of time to cook, paint, write, hike...

Why had this life become too small, so intolerable? What was this growing resistance inside of me? Why was I insistent on more?

That day I screamed it out loud to my shower curtain, to the gods of plenty, (and apparently to a neighbor who came over later to check on me) "THIS IS NOT MY BEAUTIFUL LIFE! I WANT AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE! NO MORE MEDIOCRITY, ENOUGH!!! I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO REALLY LIVE MY LIFE!" over and over and over again.

(The next day in Yoga class my left hip was magically opened. The hip that I had all but given up on. That's another story for another time.)

8 years later, this morning, I leapt out of bed... The awareness of that declaration made manifest. I was thrust into this truth: I am doing it. I have been slowly but surely creating, cultivating, growing, nurturing my beautiful life. It is extraordinary. I have released what no longer served me, upgraded from mediocrity, I surrendered and birthed a whole other me, that was asking to be born.

My days are rich with deep connection. I am in meaningful service and PLAY! I have amazing communities of sisters, dancers, coaches, artists, and mentors! I get to dance almost everyday! I love my body, finally! I am surrounded by family and friends who love me, and I love them!

How did I get to be this lucky?

Wait I'm not done...there's more!

This Thursday I am leaving to spend more than a week in Troncones, Mexico. I will be in Circle with my Vividly Woman Community! Dancing, playing, swimming and soaking in "Sacred Sensual Splendor". (learn more www.vividlywoman.com!)

This is not luck. It is intention, it is saying YES to my heart's desires. I am powerful in my life.

We are powerful in our lives. I choose to be extraordinary! Did you hear that? We can choose the extraordinary!

Tell me, are you living YOUR beautiful life?

Kara McKay is a certified Nia & Yoga teacher, Vividly Woman Co-Facilitator & coach. She guides women from their head back home to their body.

www.vividlywoman.com/VWoman_Co_Facilitators.htm

www.SacredSassy.com

Self Love Sweet Love

The number one issue facing women today is chronic and destructive lack of self love. It's a sad reality that living with as much opportunity, wealth, rights and freedoms as we as women do in this part of the world, that we still inflict punishment on ourselves in the form of self hate, self judgment and lack of self worth that is almost as destructive as what we see in misogynist societies.

What the world needs now, is for women to be in love sweet love (with ourselves). It's one of the only things that there's just too little of!

The paradigm shift slowly heading our way, where the values and blessings of the divine feminine are heralded and celebrated, cannot come about until a critical mass of women can honestly say, I love ME, and mean it. This isn't something we can feign. That won't cut it. And I know that all things have their time, but I have to confess I'm a little impatient for this one. Particularly because I now know just how juicy it is. That isn't to say that I don't have my ups and downs, moments and hours when I resort to my issues of shame and self blame. I still know those places intimately, however I am way more the witness, versus the victim to those corrosive tendencies.

So here are a few tips I've learned and discovered over my years as a tumultuously juicy woman with moods and emotions that sometime seem like they could fuel a jet plane.

Tip #1 Give yourself sensual gifts. Choose things that won't induce guilt, like rich desserts or expensive ticket items. Instead, here are some ideas: Take a warm bubble bath, massage yourself with fragrant lotion, cuddle up naked with a soft throw. Please add to the list at the Vividly Woman Facebook group! We want more juicy ideas for being sensually loving to ourselves.

Tip #2 Spend time in nature seeing yourself in the mirror.Nature is so beautiful and she is a reflection of you. Spend lots of time in her loving embrace and remember to ground in your oneness.

Tip# 3 Move your body. Dance every day for at least 15 minutes. You can do it on your own, or join a global circle of sisters who are dancing together virtually. Dance Your Power Daily Dance-A-Thon

Tip# 4 Identify and prioritize meaning in your life. Move out of victim and into the power of self love by choosing to do things that have genuine meaning, and choosing to find and stay conscious of meaning in all the things you do.

Tip#5 Express love to yourself. Make it a frequent daily habit to tell yourself, "Leela, (your name) I love you". Say it a loud, sing it in the shower, write it in the sand, write it on a card and mail it to yourself, send an email to yourself.

Self love isn't a science, it's a creative practice that requires devotion. Aren't YOU worth devoting yourself to?

Leela Francis is the founder of Vividly Woman. An embodiment Expert, facilitator and coach, she inspires the values of the divine feminine in work and in play.

www.VividlyWoman.com